9 Ways to Design a Website that Will Really Annoy Your Visitors
(and send them screaming to your competition)

1. Use lots of HUGE graphics and no text so that they have to stare at a blank screen for a looooooonnnnnggg time, waiting for something to appear.
2. Use bleeding edge technology that:
   A. requires them to download a plug-in
   B. takes forever to load
   C. freezes their computer
   D. crashes their computer
   E. all of the above
3. Confuse them with unclear navigation. Use really clever titles for your links that only you understand. You can also use icons that are meaningless, but cute. Delete the underline in the inline text links. Make them guess!
4. Use lots of blinking, flashing, moving graphics to overload their sensory input units ( ) and give them a headache. This is also very effective in distracting them from your message.
5. Have lots of links to pages that have nothing but an "Under Construction" graphic. To really annoy your visitors, make sure the graphic is huge and animated so that it takes an extra long time to load.
6. Make them log in as soon as they get to your website's home page. Don't let them see the rest of the website until they do.
7. Use some clever Javascripts that eliminate their tool bars and disable their "Back" button so that they're stuck forever on one of your web pages and the only way out is for them to close their browser and start over.
8. Make them dive deep into your website for the information they want by only giving them a little bit at a time so they have to go from web page to web page to get all of it. Put all your good stuff at least 5 or 6 links deep and make sure each page takes a long time to load.
9. Use a sound file that plays something loud and has no controls for the viewer to use to turn it down or off. Give them no clue that all of a sudden loud sounds will start emitting from their speakers

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